It drags on my soul, the tragic nature of life.

So few people can give word of something good happening.

Christmas my mom got very sick. Two days later she was in the hospital. She was in the hospital about a week. Then, I wasn't even able to bring her home--I got sick, too. And now I'm still sick, unable to stop coughing.

I was getting myself keyed up, trying to look forward to going back to school, seeing friends again, though I'm pretty sure I don't have classes with any of them because I'm lame like that, and...

My brother called me today. He has cancer.

Cancer killed my dad. Cancer killed my grandpa.

Cancer's killed almost every family member that's died, that I can remember (note I say almost).

My brother is in his 40's. He's young. He loves life, is hardworking and under-appreciated. The beautiful houses he builds win awards for their ingenious design and stunning beauty. My brother is a BAMF, who has worked his butt off to build his own race car--and he actually does really, really well on the race track.

And now he has a large tumor in his bladder. A slow growing cancer...that's already a large tumor. And there's something on one of his kidneys.

Just fuck my life, man. This shit is whacked. I'm so tired of everything going wrong. I just want my family to be healthy. I just want to be healthy. I just want things to go right for everyone. Why does everything have to go wrong?

WHY?